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The Nose will leave all the vulgar, voyeuristic, TMZ-esque reporting on Mayor-for-Life Marion S. Barry Jr. to colleagues at our city’s esteemed daily and weekly newspapers. For the record, The Nose has devoured every word and “accidental” recording included in these stories, though at times The Nose has felt guilty, sad, and just plain yucky for doing so.
But do not fear, dear readers: The Nose will not try to switch the civic conversation by writing about Phil Mendelson’s latest nitpicking or Kwame Brown’s new eyewear. Instead, The Nose will tackle three of the most vexing questions involving the current Ward 8 councilmember.
Question 1: Why the hell does Ward 8 keep electing this man?
The Nose puts this in the category of other seemingly easy but actually quite mystifying questions such as: Why aren’t you married? What is the purpose of life? Why do people love Ben’s Chili Bowl?
If you read the Washington Post, new Metro columnist Robert McCartney would lead you to believe that for all his foibles, Barry has been a “stalwart, effective representative of the city's disadvantaged.”
Huh. For five years now, The Nose has heard Barry talk about how Ward 8 is the least, the last, and the lost. Or in a different spin, Ward 8 is always No. 1: in unemployment, teenage pregnancy, HIV infection rates, illiteracy, etc.
What has Barry done to turn these numbers around?
Very little.
The Nose could go snarky and say that after obsessing about his paramour’s health and state of mind, her ex-husband’s whereabouts, and how many cell minutes he has left each month — on top of his occasional trip to Rehoboth, Jamaica, and Las Vegas — when would Barry have time to tackle poverty, health care, and job creation?
No. Instead, The Nose examined Barry’s legislative record since returning to public office in 2005.
Here’s what The Nose found: Barry has been ineffective as a legislator on the council. He introduces many bills, but they never receive a hearing or get voted on. Take these good-sounding bills Barry introduced his first term as Ward 8 councilmember: “Low to Moderate Income and Affordable Workforce Housing Act”; “Guaranteed Summer Youth Career Development and Entrepreneurship Training Act”; “Public Schools Teacher Incentive Program Act.”
Problem is, none of these bills were considered by his colleagues. Like many of Barry’s bills, they went nowhere.
Well, perhaps Barry was a little rusty at the start. What about this year?
Same story: “Mandatory HIV Testing and Educational Services for Inmates and Committed Youth Amendment Act”; “Childhood Sexual Abuse Prevention Amendment Act”; “Anacostia BID Amendment Act.”
Bupkes.
Barry has been a champion of legislation involving ex-offenders. But what many of these residents need is education, health care, and job training to keep them from turning back to crime. Barry has done little beyond rhetoric in these crucial areas of public policy. As anyone who has sat in the council chambers knows, Barry loves to talk on the dais.
Well then there’s the theory that in Barry, Ward 8 residents see themselves: their hopes, their struggles with addiction, their aspirations for a better life, their confrontations with “The Man.”
Really? On a recent sunny Saturday, The Nose tested out this hypothesis while taking advantage of free wifi at Eastern Market. Three middle-aged black women, all DC natives, asked to share The Nose’s table and the conversation soon turned to Barry. “Marion Barry needs to find a rocking chair and sit in it,” said one woman, as her friends laughed and nodded. “I am so tired of that man.”
In the end, The Nose has concluded that Barry himself offers the best answer. He recently told Washington City Paper that he regretted never having groomed a successor. The Nose believes that was intentional. Or else, it shows how little has come out of the time and money pumped over the years into Barry’s signature programs: summer jobs, the Mayor’s Youth Leadership Institute, and the Ward 8 Youth Leadership Council—one of Barry’s recent earmarks.
Ward 8, you deserve better. So do all D.C. residents who are impacted by Barry’s antics. That includes you and me, but not Post columnist Robert McCartney: He lives in Bethesda.
Robert, stick to writing about the Montgomery County Council and the purple line.
Question 2: Why would anyone agree to be Marion Barry’s lawyer?
It is well known Barry has little money. He doesn’t pay his taxes. He gets into trouble at odd hours, in odd places.
What a pain-in-the-ass client, right? Barry attorney Fred Cooke must be a saint.
No, actually, Fred Cooke is a lobbyist. The Nose will quote from Cooke’s law firm Web site: “His practice includes representing businesses and organizations in legislative matters before the Council of the District of Columbia and, with respect to regulatory matters, before District departments, agencies and commissions.”
Barry might not be effective at writing and passing legislation, but he certainly is good at being an obstacle to legislation. And that’s certainly helpful for Cooke’s other clients.
Question 3: What’s up with Barry and the U.S. Park Police?
Ah, finally, a simple one: Ward 8 has a ton of federal land!
So in order to meet a “longtime political friend” (March 2002 arrest in Buzzard Point), attend a nonprofit community event (December 2006 citation near 25th Street and Alabama Avenue SE), or simply drive home (July 2009 stalking arrest in Anacostia Park), Barry has to travel through federal turf. |
