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Pattie Cinelli, instructor at Results the Gym, personal trainer and writer. Photo: Andrew Lightman

When last year’s downturn in the economy began adversely affecting my personal training business, I became worried. I lost two of my biggest clients and several individuals who had been working with me for years. After a successful eight years of being in business for myself, I suddenly found my financial situation precarious.

Initially I panicked when the first blow of income loss came. Thoughts about changing jobs, moving and giving up my business floated in and out of my head.

But I chose not to let those thoughts overpower me. I acknowledged them and let them go. I reminded myself that I had chosen the risk of an unstable income when I quit my full time professional career for the freedom of doing something I love to do. In the years of being on my own I’ve learned what’s important to me and what’s not. When I look at what I do,, I realize that it is in sync with what makes me feel good about my life.

I’ve also learned that there is one thing I can count on – nothing remains the same. In response to life’s fluctuations, I try to focus on being open to new opportunities. I practice daily meditation. Each morning I spend time taking a conscious pleasure in the little joys in my life, and I make the choice to find ways to be happy. Over the past year, new avenues for income have found me and I’m on my way to restoring and surpassing where I was just a year ago.

What is Stress?
For some people stress has become a way of life. Our days are full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. Even though much research on stress has been conducted over the past 100 years, stress is not easy to define. It is generally agreed though that stress is a complex phenomenon and is measurable. Scientists can now measure the direct effects on the body, on mental and physical health, on individual susceptibility and on corporate profitability. A Gallup poll found that 80 percent of workers feel stress on the job and nearly half say they need help in learning how to manage stress. It also stated that $300 billion or $7500 per employee is spent annually in the U.S. on stress-related compensation claims.

I think stress is best described as a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize. The key word is “perceive”. What is stressful for you may be easy to handle for me and visa versa.

However you may describe it, stress in all circumstances is detrimental. A key to eliminating stress from our lives is to understand what happens when we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed and frazzled.

We give up a lot when we believe we cannot control how we feel because of our circumstances. Our creativity diminishes, our ability to get along with others lessens, we cannot think clearly and our health becomes compromised. Many believe stress is something beyond our control, but that is not the case.

What are beyond our control are the actions of other people, conditions and events, but not how we react to it.

Facing Difficult Life Situations
Renee Dworakowski learned that even in the face of adverse life situations, she could dig deep inside and figure out what it would take for her to feel better.

She didn’t plan for or expect her mother, who had Alzheimer’s, to move in with her at the end of 2006. Even though she wanted to care for her, “I felt stress in the beginning and recognized some of it. I meditated and practiced breathing, visualization and energy techniques such as Reiki with friends to try to get balanced.” However, when her mother’s condition worsened, she found herself focusing more on her mother and she stopped taking care of herself. “I knew I didn’t feel 100 percent, but I ignored it. I didn’t think anything serious was wrong.” Then she discovered she had cancer.

“Cancer forced me to focus on me and to slow down. I had to learn how to accept support, learn how to set boundaries and recognize what sustained me. What was important to me, I discovered, was the routine of taking care of my mother and my animals. I also rediscovered how much the Hill community and the community of dogwalkers from Congressional Cemetery were a major part of my physical, emotional and spiritual sustenance.”

Several books Renee found especially helpful were “The Artist’s Way” series by Julia Cameron and “Uplift” by Barbara Delinsky.

Now cancer-free Renee said she is always looking for new ways to add to her stress-reducing arsenal. She practices the ancient art of Qigong with a group here on the Hill. Also she says, “Massage therapy has made a huge difference to my wellbeing. I’ve learned to make space in my life for me so I’m not shooting from the hip and I am communicating what I want. That was part of setting boundaries, otherwise I’m adding stress.”

Managing Stress in Positive Life Events
The damage stress does to one’s body doesn’t distinguish between good or bad life situations. The body reacts the same. Gina Eppolito was estatic to become a new mother of twin girls this year. Having children was something she and her husband had wanted very much for years. Nevertheless, the girls’ birth turned her life upside down.

Before the twins Gina was a world traveler as a flight attendant on international routes. She often woke up in Rome, had a cappuccino, flew to Japan, visited a Buddhist temple, then hopped a plane to be home in 24 hours. Now, it is a major production to get out of the house and she hasn’t boarded a plane since her pregnancy.

“What really helps me manage the stress of caring for two infants is remembering what a blessing these girls are. This is what I wanted. Knowing what you want for your own happiness makes it easier to handle those difficult times that are a result of your choices. Taking ownership of what I have and understanding that all my actions are my choice keeps me grounded.”

Gina also said she tries to do things that replenish her soul. She takes yoga and enjoys her time with family, friends and her husband without whom she could not have survived. When both girls are crying she tries to remember, “They’re screaming right now but in a half hour they won’t be. It’s just a phase. It’s not as bad as it may seem.”

Today very few circumstances require the physiological response triggered by stress. Centuries ago, people needed to activate the “flight or fight” response if their physical safety was in danger. Today, rarely, if ever, do we encounter a situation in which our lives are threatened. Yet in stressful situations, our bodies react the same – our blood pressure rises, sugar and fat is released into our system (can lead to diabetes, high cholesterol, mood swings), our breathing becomes rapid and shallow (headaches), blood is pooled to our core, our muscles become tense (body aches and pain), digestion is slowed (heartburn, indigestion, weight gain) and cortisol is released into our system which suppresses our immune function which makes us more vulnerable to disease, heart attacks and strokes.

You don’t have to quit your job or move to Hawaii in order to create a balanced, stress-free life. But you do have to acknowledge the power you have over stress, recognize what triggers it in you and take steps to alter your reactions.

Things You Can Do Control Stress
“Let yourself get clear about what is essential in your life from the start,” said Evangeline Tierney, a psychotherapist. “Always go back to that question and realize that everything else beyond essential is non-essential.”

She emphasizes that re-stabilizing is the key. “It doesn’t mean you don’t get out of balance. Catch it and regroup. Realize everything will be okay.”

First, learn to recognize stress in yourself. Practice the mantra “I stress myself. I can change myself” no matter what is going on.

Look around and see if you can change the environment or remove yourself from the situation causing stress. (Hawaii might not be a bad idea!).

Get regular exercise. Find a way to relax without drugs and/or alcohol. Take a hot bath, listen to good music, read or pet your cat – anything that pleases you. Take a minute or two and practice mindful breathing. As you inhale, visualize air filling your lungs. As you exhale slowly relax your shoulders. Do it a few times. You may add the words “I am” as you inhale and “at peace” as you exhale.

Prioritize and let the less important stuff go.

Look at life differently. Start small.

Be kind to yourself.

Do one thing at a time. We can never get it all done so don’t worry about it!

Create a group of supportive family and friends.

Recognize when you need help and ask for it.

Learn how to say no.

Selectively change the way you react.

Avoid extreme reactions. Why hate when a little dislike will do?

Get enough sleep.

Try to use stress. If you can’t fight or flee, flow with it and use it in a productive way.