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In the cold and dark of middle winter it’s easy to see why we would want to comfort ourselves with food -- chocolate, pasta, cookies -- eating to feel better, to calm down or numb out. After all, we deserve it, right? We work hard, our lives are stressful and we deserve something satisfying. Emotional eating is not really about food though. It is when we eat to calm feelings of sadness, upset or frustration. It’s about trying to find a way to feel better. And, in the short run (sometimes only for a few moments) it works by taking the edge off our stress. In the long run, however, emotional eating makes us feel worse because it carries with it guilt, weight gain, and sometimes even addiction.
If emotional eating is all about comfort, it is worth considering some healthy ways that we can comfort ourselves when we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed out or upset. Learning to notice when we need comfort is the first step, with the ultimate goal being to discover how to comfort ourselves in ways that actually work.
Have you ever caught yourself mindlessly eating without realizing what you are doing? Becoming aware that we are using food to cope with stress is a start. Stopping the behavior, however, involves more than awareness - it also means discovering practical alternatives to help yourself calm down. A new book, “50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food,” by Dr. Susan Albers is an excellent resource for this discovery.
Five Ways to Comfort Yourself Without Food
Dr. Albers’ book groups the 50 ways to comfort yourself into categories: mindfulness techniques, strategies to change your thoughts, strategies to calm your body, finding distractions, and gaining support.
Mindfulness is helpful because it teaches you to pay attention, in an open and accepting way, to when you may be using food to comfort yourself. After all, you can’t change something that you haven’t noticed is actually happening. When you become mindful -- and tune into what is going on -- you have the possibility of making a choice about your habits. Mindfulness also helps you to develop a sense of calm and peace through meditation, and through expanding compassion.
The second strategy is to learn new ways to think about your stress and the negative thoughts you may be having, because these thoughts are the source of emotional eating. Learning to think in a more grounded and realistic way can interrupt the flow of frustrating and upsetting thoughts that drive us to eat mindlessly.
The third strategy is to learn how to relax deeply. Yoga, exercise, massage, progressive muscle relaxation and self hypnosis are some ways that can help address stress and upset that do not involve eating.
The fourth strategy is to find distractions that can take your attention away from food and the kitchen and be engaging enough to lift your mood or involve or occupy you. These include anything from gardening, blogging, listening to music, making art or crafts, to taking a class, or drinking more (non-alcoholic) liquids.
The fifth strategy is finding social support -- getting comfort from a friend or connecting to the world in a new way. If no one is available when you need comfort, try writing it out, taking a walk with the dog or changing the routine of your life. Take a new direction home, find a new radio station or make an effort to make new friends.
How to Tell Emotional Hunger from Belly Hunger
Dr. Albers points out that belly hunger is related to blood sugar levels and that the physical need for food is based on what and when you ate last. You get physical cues that you are hungry -- a growling stomach, perhaps even a headache. Your hunger grows at a gradual rate. This is in sharp contrast with emotional eating which can come on quickly and intensely and may increase with certain feelings. You find yourself not really tasting your food, but eating in a mechanical way. You crave certain foods but your sense of satisfaction is hard to reach.
Albers has 50 ways you can comfort yourself with out food. That’s a lot of ways to consider before eating yourself into oblivion. And when you do choose to eat, instead of “eat, drink, and be merry,” says Albers, consider, “eat, drink and be mindful.” Be attentive to your body, mind, thoughts and feelings as you eat. Slow down and savor each mouthful and then breathe. Mindful eating has the potential not only to transform your relationship to food, but to also improve your health, your body image, and your self-esteem. |
