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The “midlife crisis” was first labeled by Carl Jung, as an experience of people in their 40’s to 60’s. He saw it as a normal part of the process of maturing. Many of us resist the aging process, however - spending our time wishing we were younger or stronger. We may pine for the past and long for our youth.

How we speak to ourselves about our own aging has an enormous influence on how we feel. Our words and our thoughts have great power. When we change the way we perceive our age, we can change the way we feel about it. 

By their forties, most people have experienced at least one major event that causes them to reassess their lives - it may be a divorce, the death of a parent, or a significant illness. This is often a time when the awareness of our own mortality becomes more apparent.  These experiences offer the opportunity for each of us to take stock of where we are in our lives and perhaps make adjustments to the way we chose to live.

When we do not move into this transition in a healthy way, we face a host of negative feelings and symptoms. Here are some common symptoms: you feel less lively and less confident, you have become more sedentary and less adventurous, you find yourself not as happy but not knowing why, and you have a host of anxieties about your looks and about your future.

How you chose to experience midlife is up to you. Often when people pass into midlife they relate to themselves more in terms of what they are no longer than what they are now. They think that if they were only younger they would be happier.  However, when we were younger we also thought we would be happier if things were different -- if we had a better job, lived in a better place, had a different relationship. The reality is that our thoughts shape how we feel about life - not our age.

Spending time wishing you were younger actually prevents you from enjoying the life that you have in front of you right now. How you think about your aging process has everything to do with how you feel about it.  Shift your perception of age. Let go of the negative thoughts about aging and consider that with aging comes the wisdom of a lifetime of experience. Rather than seeing your medical issues as a sign that you are slowly falling apart, consider that your body is asking you to slow down and take care of yourself. You can take this time to become more contemplative and more reflective about your life.

Aging gracefully comes from changing oneself from the inside out. This means ditching the self talk like, “I’m too old” or “They don’t hire people my age” and replacing it with more empowering thoughts. Consider the possibility that the world desperately needs experienced adults to take charge now. Our own survival may rest more on our ability to create wisdom than to create more products or more wealth. 

Dealing with our physical aging can be challenging. If you are trying to work out so that you can return your body to the way it was when you were young you are likely to be filled with stress and angst. But if you are working out to be healthy and fit in the body you have now, you are going to have a lot more joy and satisfaction in the process.  Ironically, this shift in thinking is likely to get you a lot closer to your youthful body in the process. Also consider that while you might not have as much physical power as you used to, you do have more emotional, intellectual and spiritual power that comes from having lived and learned.

Our sexual energy also changes as we age and this can be a source of regret and unhappiness for people. But while our bodies may be less responsive, consider that perhaps our experience in loving has grown and developed over the years. We may know more about giving and receiving love than we ever could as young adults.