East of the River | May 2008

Saying Goodbye

Easing the Transition from High School to College

by: Ed-Genuity Consultants

It seems like only yesterday that your child took those first awkward steps. How is it possible that they are about to walk across the stage to receive their high school diploma? And in a few months they are off to college. Your child is eager to take a giant step into adulthood but sorry to leave behind longtime friends. You are proud of your child’s accomplishment and nervous about your “baby” leaving home. This is a major life transition. It’s only natural that it stirs up mixed emotions. Here are some tips to smooth the move from high school to college.

Leaving Friends
Senior year can be bittersweet. Events like homecoming and the senior prom remind students that this chapter of their life is coming to an end. Your son and his best friend have been together nearly every day since the third grade. Now one is going to college in New Jersey, the other in Texas. Your daughter and her two best girlfriends have been joined at the hip all through high school. They go to school, church and the mall together. Even you are having trouble thinking of them apart. Don’t be too upset that your child spends so much of the summer with their friends instead of you. They are clinging to their familiar social network until they have to say goodbye. Invite your child’s friends over. Serve pizza. Rent fun movies to watch together. Let your child know that you understand how hard it is to leave lifelong friends.

Leaving Family
Your child may also be sad to leave family as well but may not be willing to admit this. After all they are supposed to be looking forward to being all grown up. Give your child a chance to say goodbye to close family members. A big going away party is fine. Some one-on-one time is even better. Arrange for your daughter to spend a few hours shopping with her beloved godmother. Or perhaps your son can go fishing with his favorite Uncle Joe. Don’t forget your younger children. They need their special goodbye moments too. Give your grad the money to treat younger brothers and sisters out for ice cream and a movie. Remember that younger children may need your support to deal with the absence of their older sibling.

Don’t be surprised when your independent child calls back from college homesick. They are in a new place. They don’t know anybody. They share a bathroom with strangers. They got lost trying to find the bookstore – two days in a row. Their history class has over a hundred students. And the cafeteria food is nowhere near as tasty as your home cooking. Sure they were excited about college, but this is overwhelming. Listen calmly. Allow your child to vent. Explain that this is a normal reaction to a new situation. Let them know you are confident in their ability to adjust and adapt. Send your child off to college with lots of family photos. You can even make a CD or video with family and friends sending love and best wishes. Care packages of home-baked goodies are always welcome. Let them know they can call anytime, day or night, to talk about anything. Remember that e-mail is a terrific way to stay in touch.

Letting Go
It’s not just your child that has to adjust to this transition. You have to cope as well. Of course you are overjoyed about your child’s success. But you have been raising them up close and personal. Now they are leaving the nest. You are going to miss them. You are going to wonder if they will be OK without you. For a while it may be difficult to look in their empty room. The house may seem too quiet. If you are sending your last child or only child off to college, you may feel a special void. Being Lamont’s mom or Ericka’s dad has been a big part of your identity. Now is your chance to take up yoga, piano lessons or even go back to school yourself.

Your baby is all grown up and taking that first step towards adulthood. And though it is a time of separation, it is also a moment of great joy. Here are some additional resources to get the transition to college off to a great start.

RESOURCES

Book
Your Child at Play Two to Three Years: Growing Up, Language, and the Imagination
by Marilyn Segal $18.95
Pretend play should be child-initiated. However, if your child is having trouble getting started, here are some great ideas for games and play. One in a series of books on your child at play. from 0-1, 1-2, 3-5 and 5-8.

Online
Brain Play: Why Preschoolers Need To Pretend
http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/child/behavior/feature/dony29fapretend/dony29fapretend.html
Discusses the benefit of pretend play, how parents can help and suggests inexpensive props to encourage pretend play.

How Your Child Benefits From Play
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_how-your-child-benefits-from-play_64065.pc
How play supports creativity and social/physical/emotional development. Includes ways for parents to help

Scholastic (two articles)
Benefits of make-believe play, how parents can help, how to pick toys that inspire young imaginations
Endless Possibilities
http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=11729

Make the Most of Make-Believe
http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=1581

Ed-Genuity offers a team of education consultants with expertise in areas such as curriculum development, parental involvement, professional development for teachers and counselors, leadership development for administrators and pre-college academic enrichment programs. They have worked extensively with schools, colleges, community organizations and churches. You can e-mail the Ed-Genuity team at ed_genuity@yahoo.com.


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Saying Goodbye
Easing the Transition from High School to College
by: Ed-Genuity Consultants
It seems like only yesterday that your child took those first awkward steps. How is it possible that they are about to walk across the stage to receive their high school diploma? And in a few months they are off to college. Your child is eager to take a giant step into adulthood but sorry to leave behind longtime friends. You are proud of your child’s accomplishment and nervous about your “baby” leaving home. This is a major life transition. It’s only natural that it stirs up mixed emotions. Here are some tips to smooth the move from high school to college. Leaving Friends Senior year can be bittersweet. Events like homecoming and the senior prom remind students that this chapter of their life is coming to an end. Your son and his best friend have been together nearly every day since the third grade. Now one is going to college in New Jersey, the other in Texas. Your daughter and her two best girlfriends have been joined at the hip all through high school. They go to school, church and the mall together. Even you are having trouble thinking of them apart. Don’t be too upset that your child spends so much of the summer with their friends instead of you. They are clinging to their familiar social network until they have to say goodbye. Invite your child’s friends over. Serve pizza. Rent fun movies to watch together. Let your child know that you understand how hard it is to leave lifelong friends. Leaving Family Your child may also be sad to leave family as well but may not be willing to admit this. After all they are supposed to be looking forward to being all grown up. Give your child a chance to say goodbye to close family members. A big going away party is fine. Some one-on-one time is even better. Arrange for your daughter to spend a few hours shopping with her beloved godmother. Or perhaps your son can go fishing with his favorite Uncle Joe. Don’t forget your younger children. They need their special goodbye moments too. Give your grad the money to treat younger brothers and sisters out for ice cream and a movie. Remember that younger children may need your support to deal with the absence of their older sibling. Don’t be surprised when your independent child calls back from college homesick. They are in a new place. They don’t know anybody. They share a bathroom with strangers. They got lost trying to find the bookstore – two days in a row. Their history class has over a hundred students. And the cafeteria food is nowhere near as tasty as your home cooking. Sure they were excited about college, but this is overwhelming. Listen calmly. Allow your child to vent. Explain that this is a normal reaction to a new situation. Let them know you are confident in their ability to adjust and adapt. Send your child off to college with lots of family photos. You can even make a CD or video with family and friends sending love and best wishes. Care packages of home-baked goodies are always welcome. Let them know they can call anytime, day or night, to talk about anything. Remember that e-mail is a terrific way to stay in touch. Letting Go It’s not just your child that has to adjust to this transition. You have to cope as well. Of course you are overjoyed about your child’s success. But you have been raising them up close and personal. Now they are leaving the nest. You are going to miss them. You are going to wonder if they will be OK without you. For a while it may be difficult to look in their empty room. The house may seem too quiet. If you are sending your last child or only child off to college, you may feel a special void. Being Lamont’s mom or Ericka’s dad has been a big part of your identity. Now is your chance to take up yoga, piano lessons or even go back to school yourself. Your baby is all grown up and taking that first step towards adulthood. And though it is a time of separation, it is also a moment of great joy. Here are some additional resources to get the transition to college off to a great start. RESOURCES Book Your Child at Play Two to Three Years: Growing Up, Language, and the Imagination by Marilyn Segal $18.95 Pretend play should be child-initiated. However, if your child is having trouble getting started, here are some great ideas for games and play. One in a series of books on your child at play. from 0-1, 1-2, 3-5 and 5-8. Online Brain Play: Why Preschoolers Need To Pretend http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/child/behavior/feature/dony29fapretend/dony29fapretend.html Discusses the benefit of pretend play, how parents can help and suggests inexpensive props to encourage pretend play. How Your Child Benefits From Play http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_how-your-child-benefits-from-play_64065.pc How play supports creativity and social/physical/emotional development. Includes ways for parents to help Scholastic (two articles) Benefits of make-believe play, how parents can help, how to pick toys that inspire young imaginations Endless Possibilities http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=11729 Make the Most of Make-Believe http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=1581 Ed-Genuity offers a team of education consultants with expertise in areas such as curriculum development, parental involvement, professional development for teachers and counselors, leadership development for administrators and pre-college academic enrichment programs. They have worked extensively with schools, colleges, community organizations and churches. You can e-mail the Ed-Genuity team at ed_genuity@yahoo.com.