“Oh, no. I can’t believe it’s the holidays again.” Does this sentiment express your feelings around this time of the year? Does the prospect of traveling, shopping, cooking, baking, wrapping, dressing and partying send you into a funk? Do you wonder how you will ever get it all done?

You are not alone. Getting caught up in the commercial whirlwind of pressure and stress the holidays bring is normal. “The good news is we create those feelings, so we can change them,” says Josh Greene, a psychotherapist who, with his wife Amy Hunter, has a private practice at Healing Arts of Capitol Hill. I talked to them about how we can better balance our thoughts so that we feel good during the holidays.

What Is Stress
Stress is a psychological and physiological response to events that upset our personal balance in some way. When we feel threatened, our bodies prepare for the “flight or fight” response, which is meant to protect us. Our biological ancestors faced real physical threats, but in modern times our bodies react biologically to psychological or emotional threats rather than physical ones. Hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol are released and race through the bloodstream to prepare us for battle or to flee from danger. Our digestive and reproductive systems slow down, growth hormones are switched off and the immune response is inhibited. Being in a prolonged stressed state may impede weight loss, digestion and make us more prone to disease.

If every disruption in our schedule throws us into a tizzy, we may be running in a stressed mode a lot of the time. The more we operate “stressed out” the harder it is to turn off. Instead of leveling off once the perceived crisis has passed, our stress hormones, heart rate and blood pressure remain elevated.

Before we can change the way we feel or react we must first learn to recognize the signs of stress in ourselves. “Difficulty breathing, sweat, chest pains, headaches, muscle tension or stiffness – symptoms similar to a heart attack – are acute signs. If you experience these once or twice you need to change how you are going about your business,” advises Dr. Greene. Other less acute signs include sleeping or eating too much or too little, overreacting, irritability, impatience, short temper, feeling tense and ‘on edge’, feeling overwhelmed, lonely or depressed. Experiencing these symptoms could trigger memory problems, poor judgment, constant worrying, fear, indecisiveness, trouble thinking clearly and inability to concentrate.

Causes of Stress
What triggers stress is varied and individual. What is stressful to you may not faze another or may even be enjoyable. Amy Hunter points out that the key is identifying what causes us stress before it happens, making it less likely to occur. “If you know Uncle Joe drinks too much at the holiday dinner and gets into political arguments then don’t go, or take a walk after dinner, bring a game to distract the group or agree not to talk about it. It’s about being more aware.” She also suggests talking about the situation with someone can help normalize the experience. “Talking to people or just talking out loud helps raise the level of consciousness. Sometimes you hear things differently.”

Around the holidays stressors can include anything that causes a feeling of loss of control, powerlessness and having no time – pressure to perform normally regular tasks such as cooking, shopping, traveling or visits from relatives.

Often we take out our irritability and impatience with people who are closest to us. “Allow people permission to let us know when they think we are stressed,” suggests Dr. Greene. “We also sabotage ourselves with our own expectations. For example, stop thinking that because the family’s together everything has to be the best. Instead of homemade food, why not run to the store for equally delicious food in less time with less stress.”

Ways To Cope
“The good thing is that stress is manageable,” said Dr. Greene. “Give yourself permission to say no. Prioritize and evaluate what you want to do – what would make you feel good. Eliminate those activities that aren’t going to enhance your enjoyment.”

Crucial to being able to redirect your thoughts away from a stress induced state is developing a self-care plan. “Include paying attention to how much you sleep, what and how much you eat, stay hydrated, don’t overindulge in alcohol, and exercise.” Schedule “me” time so when your schedule gets tight it’s already planned into your day. A hot bath, a walk, a phone call to a friend, a 5-minute meditation or quiet time, a half-hour with a good book or favorite TV show,– anything you know relaxes you –can make stress that much more manageable.

If you know that having leftovers in the house causes you stress, prepare goodie bags for your guests before they leave. If you feel overwhelmed by everything you have to do, assign tasks ahead of time so you’re not stuck doing all the work.

When things go wrong this month, and they will, keep it all in perspective. “Nothing’s that big of a deal,” said Dr. Greene. “It’s all temporary. If you remember that then when big emotional stressors appear it’s easier to deal with them. If you practice with the little snafus then you already have a system in place to care for yourself when the big crises hit.”

Most important, said Dr. Hunter, is remembering to express gratitude for what you have and not focus on what you don’t have. Don’t compare. Focus on the true meaning of the holiday season. If you change your thoughts, you change your feelings and you change your experience.

Josh Greene received his Masters in Social Work from Syracuse University and has been working for 13 years with adults, couples and adolescents challenged by depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety/panic attacks, substance abuse and other diagnosable mental illnesses.

Amy Hunter earned her Masters in Social Work from Boston University and has experience providing reflective supervision, consultation and therapy to children, families and adults who have experienced trauma, depression, relationship difficulties, parenting struggles, grief, stress and anxiety.

They have a private practice at Healing Arts of Capitol Hill, a holistic care center that offers acupuncture, therapeutic massage, psychotherapy, past-life spiritual regression, Reiki and mindfulness meditation.

To contact Amy Hunter or Josh Greene log onto: www.healingartscapitolhill.com.