Earmarks
While most of the planet celebrates Christmas in the depths of winter, the District’s august City Council breaks out its checkbook just after the cherry trees blossom at the Tidal Basin. Spring budgeting is the time for DC’s finest to settle favors and patronize their favorite causes. Despite the chill economic winds and a $50 million dollar theft at the DC Office of Tax and Revenue, 2008 proved no exception with just under $40 million in party favors secreted in the heart of the DC budget.

In a city whose agencies spend millions on seemingly endless procurement processes dominated by acronyms such as “RFP,” “RFI” and “RFQ,” Council earmarks evidence little or no paperwork. Nor is their value tested in extensive public hearings. A few lines of legislative ink and a judicious phone call or two are all that is required.

The Nose is seriously considering shedding his fig leaf of anonymity and calling his representatives in pursuit of his favorite causes. Here are The Nose’s top five candidates for the Council’s “Christmas in Spring”:

1. Replacing the stolen money at the DC Office of Tax and Revenue;
2. Finding affordable housing for everyone on the DC Housing Authority’s waiting list;
3. Providing seed money for a medical facility actually located east of the Anacostia River;
4. Funding a study to find another host for the National Marathon; and
5. Establishing tollbooths on the Potomac River crossings.

If the Council feels that The Nose is in error, perhaps it should allow the voters to dispense their own earmarks. This might work like Ebay. The Council website could solicit ideas from residents and then conduct a vote to establish their funding level. After all, last The Nose checked, the District’s piggybank belonged to the public.

Spending Greenbacks on Green Space
The Canal Park Development Association (CPDA) is the big winner among the 2008 earmarks, garnering roughly 33 percent of the Council’s total largesse. Never heard of this sylvan retreat? Well, at the moment, it consists of 1.8 acres of city land along 2nd Street SE between M and I that provides a home to a hundred or so yellow school buses. Very soon, however, pricey townhouses, condos and office buildings will surround this eyesore.

The CPDA’s worthy goal is to create an environmentally innovative, three-block sliver of urban green space out of these city parking lots. According to the CPDA’s website, roughly $6 million has already been raised for the effort from a combination of public and private sources. Now, the city is being asked to kick in an additional $19.5 million earmark for a total of $26.5 million.

Directly across the river from the CPDA’s project lies the Anacostia Park, one of the largest green spaces in the city. Every spring, hundreds of residents use its extensive sports fields, jog along its shores, barbeque at its picnic spots and fish along its riverbanks.

Yet the despite Anacostia Park’s popularity, it remains an ugly stepchild badly administered by DC Department of Parks and Recreation and poorly maintained by the National Park Service. The Nose himself is a frequent visitor. Anacostia Park has cost him more than one skinned knee and near broken bone due to the poor condition of its turf, which sports many concrete moles and dangerous divots.

Preserving green space is important. However, does it really make sense to spend $26 million on a tiny slip of parkland, when one of the city’s largest and most popular recreational spaces remains neglected right across the river?

Run Away Dollars
Along with many other District residents, The Nose curses the plethora of costly public events that close our city streets. Be it the Popemobile traversing the city or Nazi protesters on the Mall, the life of a DC resident is often held hostage to the disruptions of life in our nation’s capitol.

Most of the events that tie up our city streets are beyond residents’ control. Many of us would love for the World Bank and IMF to decamp to other quarters and rid of us of their protesters. What really perplexes The Nose, Dear Readers, is why the DC Council would encourage any more of these events. Yet tucked into the 2008 budget is a half-million dollar gift to the Greater Washington Sports Alliance (GWSA), the organizer of the dreaded National Marathon.

While most DC public events tie up the area surrounding the Mall, the National Marathon threads its way through our metropolis, disrupting the entire city for a day and costing our municipality a considerable amount of money to police and manage. In fact, The Nose is convinced that the route is selected to inconvenience as many people as possible in order to ensure a captive audience. One year, it completely cut off a city neighborhood in Southwest south of M Street.

On National Marathon Day, The Nose takes a break from life. He stays home, reading the New Yorker and sipping mint juleps. The alternative is simply too frightening.

GWSA has no problem snagging major corporate sponsors such as Suntrust and compensating its president in excess of $200,000 annually. Its marathon costs the city a considerable amount of money and residents a considerable amount of aggravation. Why, therefore, should the Council allow it to dine so heartily at the public trough?

Have an observation for The Nose, email thenose@hillrag.com.